Do I have to do THAT at my wedding?

Fads that are Fading Out

The first thing that you need to understand when you start planning is that it is YOUR wedding! Any question that you have regarding what you can and should do should be answered with a YES! It's your day, and your wedding can be any style you want featuring any traditions you want, and excluding any you don't want!

I get a lot of questions regarding traditions or "norms" and whether you HAVE to do them. For many of these questions, the answer is no! Here are some examples of fads and traditions that are fading out, and not necessary to include in YOUR day!

THE BOUQUET TOSS

The bouquet and garter toss is a tradition that has been going on since Medieval Times! Brides used to toss a piece of their dress to the unmarried women at the wedding as good luck to the next lucky bride. As dresses became more expensive, brides began to toss their bouquets instead. This tradition has fizzled out for many reasons. At many weddings, the female guests are already married, therefore there aren't many single ladies to take part. Also, breaking up the party to orchestrate the bouquet toss can be a buzz kill, and it can kill the vibe if everyone is enjoying themselves on the dance floor. The majority of the weddings I see lately have decided to nix the bouquet toss. It's simply another formality, and at the end of your big day, you just want to relax and dance!

The garter retrieval itself is another tradition which symbolizes the consummation of marriage that will ensue after the celebration. Not only is it extremely awkward to have your husband retrieve a garter from underneath your dress in front of your parents and grandparents, but many modern couples choose not to wait for the big day before being intimate. This tradition is rarely seen anymore, and in my opinion, is not necessary to include in your festivities!

A VEIL THAT COVERS YOUR FACE

If anyone ever asks me if they have to wear a veil, my answer is always yes. A veil is what transforms you from a girl in a pretty white dress, to a bride. A veil can be simple and classy; it doesn't have to huge, or super long, but it really makes a huge difference! One tradition that I would say you can skip is the piece of the veil that goes over your face. This, again, is an older tradition to build up the suspense of the groom seeing the bride for the first time. However, many brides are choosing to leave their faces uncovered - after all, you just paid how much for your makeup to be done? A face covering can also be uncomfortable, especially with fake lashes, wind, etc. So in my opinion, this is another tradition that I say - skip!

AN ANNOUNCED CAKE CUTTING

The days of making your cake cutting a big deal are fading. These days, many couples do not announce the cake cutting anymore. Instead, the couple and the photographers/videographers have a private moment where the couple cuts their cake. This is a more intimate way of doing it, and gives you two a private moment to yourselves. Also, it's not stopping the party. If you have people dancing, you want to make minimal announcements in order to keep the party going. Cutting your cake alone, and still getting it on film, is becoming more and more popular and I think it's an awesome idea!

HAVING SEPARATE SIDES FOR BRIDE AND GROOMS GUESTS AT YOUR CEREMONY

This is something that is traditional, but many couples are forgoing the separate sides during the ceremony! Traditionally, there is a "bride's side" for her guests and a "groom's side" for his guests during the ceremony. I have seen more and more couples implementing the "Choose a seat not a side" method and allowing guests to sit wherever they want. This is a great way for your guests to meet early on in the day and start to get to know each other. After all, you are all going to be family now anyway! I do still recommend having a few rows in the front of the ceremony on each side reserved for bride and groom's immediate family. And these seats usually are on the bride or grooms side. Other than that - mix it up! 

Is there a tradition you are debating including in your day? Share your thoughts and ask questions!